• Denise Ciardello

Is Utopia Attainable?

Updated: Apr 2


Drama – it surrounds us in so many different forms. I often hear “We do not allow drama in our office!” I will not be so cynical as to think that is a total Utopian statement, because I have witnessed some offices that are able to avoid drama, however, I have yet to see one that can ‘not allow’ it.


Somehow drama rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times. One day 2 co-workers are besties and the next day they are not speaking to each other. No one knows why and the air is so thick with tension. The team tries brush it off but the egg-shells are there to be tip-toed around. If given enough time, the division line between Team Becky and Team Susie will be as big as the Great Wall of China.


Why? Why does this happen? The best way I can explain it is with one word: females! We women are so brutal to each other; we hyper analyze every little word, tone, facial expression and shoulder shrug. Our world is so desperate to make something out of nothing – did you see the video that went viral when Kate Middleton avoided Prince William’s touch to her shoulder? Really? Who cares! – was my first inclination. And yet, when it happens in our office(s), we pile on and scrutinize the meaning behind Ashley’s smirk or Judy’s hair-flip.


If the truth be known, women have such a tough row-to-hoe by balancing relationships, children, careers and still maintaining our ‘self’. We should be the first to step up and encourage each other for things done well, impressive weight loss, new hair style or promotions passed along and yet we are the worst at woefully judging each other. Call it jealousy, envy, resentfulness or avoidance one’s own discrepancies by knocking someone else down.


It’s a new year and I’m going to throw down a challenge to each and every one of you.

  • Anytime there is the opportunity to be snarky, find a way to be sweet

  • For every person you meet, find something to compliment – shoes, clothes, hair, smile… there has to be something

  • Take the eye-roll internally; all external body language should be proper

  • Use words and actions that would make your mother proud


John F Kennedy once stated: “A rising tide lifts all boats”. His meaning was in regards to the economy and yet can be carried forward to all members of society. Be the person that lifts another, with kindness and positivity.


I guarantee that if you, as an office, can collectively implement these few suggestions, you won’t need to declare that you do not ‘allow’ drama. Drama will simply not have a place in your office or anywhere in your world.

That is not a Utopian idea. That is the true definition of perfecting an ideal society.


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